Thanks for the wise words! I started getting debilitatingly ill around 2009 and the stress shot up my problematic autism traits like whoa (still undx’d then), and people that’d been friends for decades just stopped responding to me when I reached out, like they wanted to hint me away.

It’s just a wound, when it gets triggered I have to back it up and be like, “this is not those people, this is a person who’s just got a lot on her plate, I know we’re good.” I appreciate your saying that it’s okay to check-in when insecurities are triggered, thank you. It can be hard to know what needs are okay when you’ve been told they’re all wrong foreverrrrr

For me, it seems to be about learning how to pick people who just mesh with me (the whole me) better, and stopping a pattern of wanting to heal people who show unkindness — so I may play with the ones that do!